A tight-rope walk!

Working mothers-- be it you , me or Facebook's COO  Sheryl Sandberg, we all are sailing in the same boat.  The difference its just that she has reached such a pedestal that she can go around and talk about it openly unlike you and me who would think thousand times before doing so.Yes, when you are a mother your priorities change nevertheless exceptions are always there. The moment you start feeling your child in the womb and more so, when you embrace your baby for the first time, the word 'Mamma' takes a toll over all ambitions and aspirations of climbing the corporate ladder.

I don't know why I always thought working mothers feel more secure and at ease in the west with a more permissive work-culture and  creche facilities in the office premises itself,  among others. May be that's why  when some one like Sandberg who has been ranked one of the fifty "Most Powerful Women in Business" by Fortune Magazine ever since 2008  revealed , "I walk out of this office every day at 5:30 so I’m home for dinner with my kids at 6:00, and interestingly, I’ve been doing that since I had kids,” Sandberg says. ”I did that when I was at Google, I did that here, and I would say it’s not until the last year, two years that I’m brave enough to talk about it publicly. Now I certainly wouldn’t lie, but I wasn’t running around giving speeches on it ” , I was surprised and felt relieved thinking that a COO is giving me company ;) in burning the candles at both ends. Sometimes I feel that a working mother is a living pendulum, again controlled by the needles of a clock.

 If you decide to quit the job to be a full-time mommy then you are looked down upon for not being competent enough to take up both the responsibilities and if you take that difficult decision to be away from the little one for ten hours every day then you are tagged being too ambitious and selfish.  Besides, all the bills including yours and of the new member becomes a burden for the poor better half and this could even have several side-effects making you forget all the marriage vows,  so it leads to 'aamdani athani kharcha rupaiyaa' .

So with heavy heart, choked and in tears we women try to join the highly competitive work-force again leaving behind our kids either with the nannies or grand-parents or in the day-care(mine goes to a day-care, its been a year now). And now you are back to the grind with burden of sorts.

Since in India and now after Sanderberg's statement may be world-over,  number of hours spent at work get more mileage over performance, making things worse. Like in my case, I always tried to get over with my day's work asap and that too with extra care that its done with perfection but still that irking imposition of completing the work-hours was always there, resulting in being in the office physically and not mentally.
And yes, how can I forget those MEN and WOMEN who just try to exploit your predicament for their good, keeping  a working mother at bay from rewarding and important projects. Even after you and me try hard to explain that we are prepared for it and that's why we are here , all our attempts go in vain and we have to settle with left-over assignments and a look that's nerve-nipping.

We poor ladies settle even with this,  thinking the phase is temporary and it will pass, or at least we are still in the rat race after being a mother when there are many unfortunate ones (not really) who are sulking at home.When you are still figuring out how to prove yourself once again professionally , there comes another challenge, the little one catches flu or any xyz infection, reason enough for us to be away from work. And being a MOTHER neither our heart nor the societal norms allow us to leave the suffering baby alone. The next big question is, how to seek at least a week-long off.
Guilty, as if we have committed a crime we once again prove ourselves 'un-professional'. And mind you, as pediatrics say till the age of five your child is susceptible to infections more. So, be ready for the tight rope walk, once in a month!

Yeah, yeah, don't be in a hurry. I have not forgotten the other front, home sweet home. Our day starts afresh when we reach home every evening. For me it gets difficult because after dropping Divita, my head-mistress at school at around 8:30 in the morning this is the time when I see her. Since she goes to a day-care after her school is over I pick her from there. To my relief there are some fifteen kids with her. But by the time I reach to her if she happens to be the last kid to be picked, then I am vigorously quizzed for being late, even though I am not, its just that other ones left a bit early.  But unlike many grown-up, intelligent people she understands my situation and a hug and a kiss is enough to patch-up with her. While going back home she would whisper, " mamma jab aap der se aate ho to mujhe bilkul achcha nahi lagta" , phew.

 In between to avoid hearing these words, I drive like a Formula 1 racer on Delhi roads every day.Thanking my stars,  a cook comes to prepare the dinner so  after spending time while playing, talking and watching cartoons with Divita, I still get some me-time. Oh, cartoon reminds me, today I have to take her to a mall close to our place where her favourite cartoon character Doremon is coming. Its already 5 pm on a Saturday I would cash this opportunity taking a cue from Sanderberg  would leave office at 5:30 today  ;) for seeing that smile on her face and shine in her eyes on seeing Doremon. Am I asking too much from life?